Photographer: @Joecudjoe

Photographer: @Joecudjoe

Hello I'm Ori, Nigerian American lifestyle blogger and career consultant encouraging you to live boldly. Be original. 

The Guide to Self Development

The Guide to Self Development

Many of us want to grow as individuals and become the best versions of ourselves but we’re not willing to do the work that is required to get there. I’m learning that growth does not happen naturally. If I ignore all the signs that you need to work on yourself, then I will live my life at a stagnant maturity level. 

Have you ever met someone that has a shitty personality but uses “That’s just how I am” as an excuse? I am that person. 😪

Well, I used to be that person, but for the past few week’s I’ve drafted my very own self-development plan to tackle specific personality traits that I want to change in myself. Here’s how it all started.

In my diagnosis class, where we discus psychological disorders and how they are defined or characterized, my professor said something that blew my mind. We were talking about how personality disorders are shifting in the next DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health) because new research shows that personality is actually learned behavior. She said that personality is not fixed but can be changed if an individual is motivated enough to change it.  

Personality isn’t fixed, it is learned patterns of behavior
— Dr. Ramaswamey


That means that I can change the parts of my personality that I think are unchangeable. This is where the idea of self-development came from. You know when you have a professional development plan at your job, where your bosses have a list of skills that they expect you to improve on? This is the same thing, but for your own life. 

My Personal Development Plan:

Be more patient

It’s not that I’m not patient, I just don’t like wasting my time🤷🏽‍♀️. 

Be more positive, and smile more

I have what they call “Resting Bitch Face” but really, it’s just my poker face. My coworkers always remind me to smile but hate being told to smile 🙄.

Be less irritable

I have a tendency to get irritated easily. But it’s not my fault, I noticed that people perceive me to be angry even when I do not feel angry. 

Anyway, as a progressive woman who strives to be the best version of herself, I took it upon myself to fix these undesirable personality traits. 

Now let me warn you,knowing you character flawsand working on them is not as easy as it seems. I have gotten a lot better mostly because my perspective has changed. For example, I tend to get irritated at work because I’m not where I want to be yet. But I shifted my perspective so whenever I get irritated, I remind myself of all the perks of my job and that this is a temporary job that’s holding me down until I finish Grad. School. 

Change is not going to happen overnight, but at least I’m working at it, and I want to encourage you to do the same. To be original, you have to be willing to challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes we act the way we do because it’s more comfortable to be that way. But that shitty attitude, or passive aggressive ness may be what’s holding you back from true connection with others or growth in your life. Work on it boo, you can do better, and you can be better. 

To help you through this process, I have created an eBook called Self-Development. Join me in the self-development journey by clicking the link below and downloading the eBook. Once you have completed it, screen shot your favorite part, and share. 

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