Photographer: @Joecudjoe

Photographer: @Joecudjoe

Hello I'm Ori, Nigerian American lifestyle blogger and career consultant encouraging you to live boldly. Be original. 

The Sacred Search

The Sacred Search

The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas is a book that discusses the pursuit of the perfect spouse. Gary emphasizes that it’s not about who you marry but why you get married. I absolutely loved reading this book because it clarified a lot of questions I had and gave practical tips on how to discern who to date and how that process should look. Gary provides biblical references and scriptures to back up his statements to help the reader reframe their mindset. At the end of each chapter there are study questions that are perfect for small group conversations or to help the reader process and analyze what they read as they apply it to their lives.  

Here is a brief summary of my favorite chapters:

The great expectation

In chapter 2 Gary talks about how being in love and having romantic feeling is not enough to build a long-lasting relationship. He believes that the principles in Matthew 6:33 should drive our pursuit of marriage and partnership. 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
— Matthew 6:33

Vulnerable and stupid

In chapter 3 he breaks down the negative effects of infatuation on relationships. Infatuation (Noun) is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something (Google). He states that infatuation can last for about 2 years and while romantic and sexual attraction remains, infatuation cannot sustain a relationship on a day to day basis. This chapter blew my mind because he listed a few of the side effects of infatuation like ignoring your lovers’ weaknesses and focusing on their strengths, some of which might be imaginary.

Falling in love can be a dangerous game so be careful who you play with. 
— Gary Thomas
Infatuation fills your eyes with what you’re getting, but let the Bible fill your mind with what you’re committing to give
— Gary Thomas

Soul mate or Sole mate?

In chapter 5 Gary gives a background on the origin of the soul mate idea. It is derived from the Greek philosopher Plato who believed that there was once a super race of androgynous humans that were separated by the gods into 2 halves. When these 2 halves found each other, it led to their death because they would cling to each other and were unwilling to do anything else.

Gary pointed out that the love shared between soul mates made them weaker, whereas biblical love makes you stronger. Gary’s opinion on finding the one, is to adopt a biblical attitude when making a wise choice for a partner. He believes that there is no objective measurement for your destiny, but we can use all that God has given us to arrive at a solid decision. He states that our search for a life mate isn’t one of desperation, but rather one of patiently looking for someone with whom we can share God’s love and live out Gods purpose with.

The way someone chooses to get married is a good indicator of the work they’ll put in after the wedding takes place in order to make the marriage grow.
— Gary Thomas
If you marry for money, health, or looks, keep in mind that none of these are certain to remain
— Gary Thomas

In light of valentine’s day, I highly recommend you check out this book to get biblically sound tips on how to date and prepare yourself for marriage. Click the link below to order your book!  

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