Photographer: @Joecudjoe

Photographer: @Joecudjoe

Hello I'm Ori, Nigerian American lifestyle blogger and career consultant encouraging you to live boldly. Be original. 

Refining My Character

Refining My Character

I am a quarter of a century years old now! Turning 25 signifies a new season for me because I’m more focused on refining my character. Refining my character is the process of becoming the best possible version of myself; being original. Through various life changes and shifts in relationships, I had to take self-inventory. My motivation used to be about getting ahead, meeting my goals and making enough money to live the comfortable life that I think I deserve. 

This year I’m focused on unlearning unhealthy behaviors, stepping out of my comfort zone and building healthy boundaries. I want to stop picking up other people’s problems, especially with family. I want to stop worrying about my future because God is in control. I will focus on loving those who love me back and letting go of the people and things that are not meant for me. I will walk in confidence and boldness in every aspect of my life. And I will grind in silence until I reach my personal goals. 

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Here are 3 questions I have asked myself as I refine my character: 

1.    How do I act when I’m under pressure? 

When life put’s pressure on you, your true character will show. When I get under a lot of pressure, I get tough and critical. My criticism not only affects those around me but manifests in negative self-talk which breeds more misguided “work hard” behavior. To combat that, I am paying attention to my maladaptive behaviors and working to change them.  

2.    How do I define myself? 

I typically define myself by what I do and what I have accomplished. But, my experience in grad school has taught me that degrees and titles do not make you a better person. This year, I want to build my identity on who God says I am and not on what my accomplishments say I am. 

3.    What patterns do I see in my life? 

Pay attention to the re-occurring themes in your life. I noticed a pattern in my relationships that I actively had to change. My way of changing this was by building better boundaries. I’m also working on unlearning unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns.  

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Year 25 is going to be my best year yet, I can just feel it. In preparation for all this amazing year, I am making sure that I have a strong enough character to handle the blessings and victories that I am believing God for. I recommend that you create a list of questions that challenge you to evaluate your character and work on it. Also, Thank you for all the birthday wishes. 

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